Presidential Facts According To A 1st Grader

I knew that something would go wrong. My 1st grade daughter came home yesterday and promptly showed me her Homework notebook. In it was written, “Watch the Presidential/Vice-Presidential Inauguration because it is a historic event.”

So this morning I announced that she wasn’t allowed to play in the neighbor’s house because she had to watch the inaugural coverage.

Immediately after breakfast I turned on the television. My husband, noticing that I was flitting back and forth from the room and the kitchen (I was preparing lunch early so I could watch too), volunteered to annotate the program for our kid.

After PNoy delivered his inaugural speech I decided to give the kid a spot quiz, just to see if she really understood what she just watched. Lets just say it was a lesson in understanding how a young mind works.

Question 1 : Who is the new President of the Philippines?
Answer : Noynoy Aquino

Question 2 : Who is the new Vice President of the Philippines?
Answer : JEJEmar Binay the leader of the Jejemons

Question 3 : Where does Noynoy live?
Answer : Near Lola’s house. (my Mom lives 3 minutes away)

Question 4 : Where was the Inauguration held?
Answer : Near STC (the convoy passed the same route we take to school)

Question 5 : Where will the President live now?
Answer : Malacanang Bahay

1 Point Goes To The Veep

Everyone in the family knows that my husband and I have pretty weird conversations. It follows since each of us have an unconventional sense of humor that actually complement each other.

So its no surprise to have us trading cuss words and colorfully worded insults which are not meant to hurt each other. We just talk to each other that way.

Proof.

Over the weekend we had to schedule an emergency trip to my hubby’s hometown due to a death in the family. We were mostly somber during the trip until we reached the Candaba swamps. There was a huge sign christening the swamps as “The Candaba Wetlands” which, to me, seemed very appealing and better sounding than swamps.

Anyway, since we were on our way to a wake, the subject of death came up. I asked if their family intended to have the deceased relative cremated since this was the “uso” thing to do these days. Apparently not, at least in their family.

So I said that if and when it was my time, I wanted to be brought straight to the crematory from my death bed. I didn’t want a wake. I just wanted to be cremated right away. And I wanted my ashes scattered in the Candaba Wetlands to serve as fertilizer.

My husband gave a snicker and said, “Pag namatay ka, ikakalat ko ang abo mo sa SnR at sa Trinoma. Para you can be in your favorite shopping places forever!!”

End of conversation. One point goes to the hubs.

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